CHALLENGE ME SAVE ME
by XCarlie.CullenX
Summary: At first it was a game to both Bella and Edward. Both cocky and full of confidence. Living in their self created worlds help ease the pain of reality. What happens when both collide? M FOR A REASON. R&R I SUCK AT SUMMARYS PLEASE READ
1. Chapter 1: Fork me

**_This is a story I've been playing with, it's fun to write and I hope you like!_**

**_please R&R!_**

**_ALL BELONGS TO MS STEPHENIE MEYER._**

**_Chapter 1_**

**_Fork me_**

**_Bella's pov:_**

My life couldn't get any worse, my gold digging useless mother is sending me to my dad, as I need to learn more ladylike qualities. Fuck that Monkey see, monkey do. She married a 10 years her junior wannabe baseball player and acts like a lovesick teenager in public where ever we go and I'm the one with a problem? So what I party and like fast cars, I shop and have many male admirers. I'm not a criminal. You see grandma and grandpa got lucky, money past down the generations, big estate, plenty of money and no financial problems. Plus they owned many companies equaling to quite a big amount of heritage. When grandma Swan popped her clogs my darling mother was still hitched to Charlie, my dad entitling her to half of the Swan fortune's. When they split I went to live with my mother and my big Brother Emmet stayed with dad, I'm still 17 so my 'Bella fund' don't kick in until September 13th, only 5 more months. I have to live on pocket money until then, but I suppose where I'm moving to there isn't many places to actually spend any of it.

I was kicked out of my private school in Jacksonville for my lack of enthusiasm and hectic social life. I did well fuck I did better than good, but I needed to learn how to act properly, so Reene is sending me to Forks, Washington to live with Charlie, his wife Sara and Emmett. The real reason is she wants her space with her new husband and Charlie knows this. Charlie lives in a huge mansion just on the out skirts of Forks, which to me is in the middle of no where. Over the last 13 years when I wanted to my dad Sara or Emmett we would Holiday in a hotter climate, my new home is basically new to me. Well I could do with a challenge.

The flight was interesting, sat next to me was a college student. Intelligent yes, but his face out weighted this. We exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. Charlie, Emmett and Sara. I gave the right greetings and excitement and slid into the waiting car. Emmett my twin brother and I are everything alike in ways nothing alike in looks. Hes huge and muscly but of course has the swan looks. I am shorter, thinner and have flowing hazel hair. I hardly wear make-up, I feel less is more. Emmett is what I would call a play boy, the stories he tells me about him and his mates at the infamous Forks High School are very graphic. Who needs friends when you got a brother like mine.

Well from what I have seen of this small place, I find very boring. Charlie and Sara are going away for a 2 weeks so they have just informed me, for a second honeymoon. Great no parental supervison, my favourite. Emmett and I wore the same sweet child smile as we waved them off.

"Liking what you've seen so far. Welcome to Forks?" Emmett screamed from the kitchen.

"What's not to like?" I replied sarcastically.

"My mates are on their way over, hope you don't mind" Mind? Me? Guys?

"Which ones?"I halfheartedly said back to him.

"Jasper Hale and Edward Cullen" Those ones, I've heard nothing but good things about them. I smiled to myself.

The doorbell rang and I went to answer it. Standing there was a tall, blonde god like man, with crushing blue eyes next was the breathtaking boy, amazing green eyes which captured you and redish brown hair gelled messily but very sexy. I smiled my famous smile and gestured them in. Both stared mouths open at me, my usual effect on the male species.

"You must be Jasper and Edward, come in" The both nodded and walked past me, Emmett charged from the kitchen and high fived them.

"Guys meet my twin sister Bella. Bella meet the guys" The both looked suprised at the word sister than anyhing else, I assume my brother didn't tell them about me. I pretended to be interested in what ever was on the TV and moved so that my legs were on show and the green eyed boy I'm sure was drooling.

"Was thinking about hitting Port Angeles, that new club has opened. So what you say Bells up for that?" Jasper and Edward both looked happy Emmett asked me.

"I suppose, could check out the talent this place has to offer." I said trying to sound as though I didn't really care. The blonde one and Emmett wondered off to the kitchen leaving me alone with the hunk.

"I'm Edward. So what brings you to Forks?" Oh even his voice turned me on. Mmm Edward.

"Needed a challenge. Got kicked out of my old school for inappropriate behaviour." I tried to sound seductively.

"What did you do? Got caught with a boy behind the bike shed?" He asked almost in a purr.

"Nope" I stood up to walk to the stairs and passed Edward not before I whispered in his ear. "It was the biology teacher, behind the bike shed" I giggle and left the room, for a little Bella time. That story was mostly true, I didn't sleep with the fuck wit though. I wouldn't sleep with any of the messy, pumped up egos that are passing for males these days. I flirt and tease maybe a kiss or two but actually having them near me sexually. No thank you. I have higher standards than that. People see me with guys and assume, I just don't correct them.

After about an hour of loud music and boistrus banter, I left my room to see what the males in this house were up to. Typical the music was some excuse of modern rock and the Xbox was being played roughly by the competing boys, Oh my. Edward Cullen was having an unusual effect on me. He was a player, I've heard the stories from my brother. God Bella fuck up. Its just another boy wanting to bed you. What do I expect that he'll fall in love with me and live happily ever after?

"When we leaving?" I asked my bear of a brother

"About 8ish, okay?" He answered mildly distracted by the game.

"Sure, can I get anyone of you a drink?" I called over my shoulder as I bounded to the kitchen, not caring about the answer.

I was rummaged through the fridge when the door bell rang which was fast followed girl screams and shouts. I manged to catch "Idiotic lowlife" "Scumbag" and "Man whore" I like this girl already. I walked to the front room where I found the flabbergasted Emmett, Jasper and Edward staring at a still yelling slim blonde girl, most likely a model. Standing close behind her shooting glares at Edward was a short black haired elf like girl, outstandingly pretty also. Ex's maybe? A woman scorned sprang to mind, when the blonde clocked me.

"So I suppose this is another one of your 'friends', Edward?" She was demanding yelling towards the stunned three. So Edward was the man slut? Figures a guy that hot, but like I said before I'm not interested in going all the way with boys like that. I doesn't bother me who Edward Cullen fucks or it shouldn't.

"Actually I'm Bella Swan, Emmett's sister." I said before anything else erupted.

"Sister, Oh I'm sorry" This stumped the supermodel and she smiled apologetically at me.

"Oh no please continue, may I ask what they've done?" I said a little amused.

"Being the whore's that they are! One night-ing a good friend of mine! Sorry you have to hear this Bella" The little girl behind barbie answered, smiling.

"Oh please continue. Make them squerm." I said laughing now moving to sit on the bar stools by the two girls. All eyes on me until Emmett started pleading.

"Rosie! Sorry baby. I didn't know. I had nothing to do with it." My brother and this Rosie eh? I knew he has his fair share but the beauty? Mmm boys got taste.

"Liking Forks? I'm Alice Cullen by the way!" My attension was diverted from the scene in front of me to this girl. Cullen? Explains the good looks.

"Like? That isn't a word I'd use" I answered bluntly.

"Hahaha don't worry about it. It's not all bad. Are you coming tonight?" I assume the club, is what she meant.

"The club? I suppose" I noticed that Edward was staring at me, I was certainty not going to be his next leg over. Rose continued to yell at Emmett and Jasper sat there amazed.

"Awsome. Me and Rose could do with another girls opinion. We're leaving in about 2 hours. We really should get ready now!" She looked panicked. I liked something about Alice and Rose had balls. Possible friends? I laugh and nodded at her. Rose had now hit Emmett and was walking back to us.

"Bella, you wanna get ready at my house?" Rose asked, so calm now.

"Sure, I'll follow you guys out now" Rose and Alice departed and I grabbed my bag.

"Emmett, I like her, she's a keeper." I laughed at my red faced bitch whipped brother. "See you later boys" I called over my shoulder and left the house.

**_Edwards pov_**:

Jasper and myself were heading toward Emmett's house, talking about last nights adventures. I had a interesting date with a friend of my sisters. Creepy blonde who had already planned a future with me. I refused to let her indulge herself in such fantasies and left before dessert. The girls around here are all the small. Boring, childish and dumb. The see any bit of male flesh and the willingly throw themselves at them, not that I'm complaining. I just would hate to think this is it! For now I'm enjoying myself, but I'd like to meet a girl who made me do the chasing and who had half a brain. Jasper was mellowing out in his ways and Emmett the big bear has already claimed Rosalie Hale as his girl. Of course Jasper wasn't to pleased at first that his little sister had chosen Emmett but that soon settled down when we realized Rose is the one in that relationship who wears the pants, Poor Em.

"How was Katy last night?" Jasper asked, I knew exactly what he meant by how.

"I wouldn't know I bailed on creepy bitch was planning our kids names" I laughed at him.

The Swan house was practically next to mine but the estates around the houses cover a vast amount of forest and its easier to drive to each others houses. Emmett's parents were going out of town and for two weeks we had a parent free house. Jazz rang the door bell and I followed behind him. The door opened and this unbelievably gorgeous brunette answered with milk chocolate eyes and a body to die for. None of the girls around her look like that, sexy but innocent at the same time, the best thing about this angel she was wearing no make-up. I was opened mouth as was Jasper. No way would Emmett cheat on Rose, so who was this honey? Future Mrs. Cullen I hope. Then the goddess spoke.

"You must be Jasper and Edward, come in" Her voice was almost as attractive as her face and the way she called my name gave me goosebumps. She smiled this amazing smile making me just want to taste those lips. We both walked past her opened mouthed.

"Guys meet my twin sister Bella. Bella meet the guys" Twin sister? I knew of an Isabella sibling of Emmetts and from what he talked about was a brainiack. Private schooled, top class etc. I stared in shock. Beauty with brains.

"Was thinking about hitting Port Angeles, that new club has opened. So what you say Bells up for that?" Club sure I could do with an escape and he invited the luscious Bella. Jasper smiled at this too but I don't think he was as infatuated as myself. Those legs, wow.

"I suppose, could check out the talent this place has to offer." Talent? Honey I'm right here. Jazz as though right on cue left us.

"I'm Edward. So what brings you to Forks?" I had to introduce myself hoping that she didn't think I was Jasper.

"Needed a challenge. Got kicked out of my old school for inappropriate behaviour." Kicked out? I'm sure shes flirting with me,maybe I could give her the Cullen charm.

"What did you do? Got caught with a boy behind the bike shed?" I purred back to her

"Nope" She got up from her seat and headed for the stairs on before she whispered . "It was the biology teacher, behind the bike shed" In my ear and I caught the full impact of the fruity scent. Strawberries now my favourite thing on earth. There was something about this girl that called me, a feeling that I can't describe. My head was spinning with Bella's spell. The boys returned from the kitchen giggling about something, how manly of them.

"What's up girls?" I called to them

"Nothing. What you think of my sister, then Eddie boy?" Emmett the strange creature that he is practically sang to me.

"She's cool" I answered the most wrong word of choie answer for Bella. Cool? She was more than that. Emmett and Jasper were staring at me like idiots "What?" I questioned them.

"Nothing" they both giggled again. We continued to play Xbox and play music. I hoped a little part of me that Bella would join us.

After about an hour of boys time, Bella entered the room and distracted my full attention even when she spoke to Emmett I could only stare, I was only brought back to the room when Rose charged in with Alice and started screeching at me. Damn whats her name? Creepy blonde giving them the story of me bailing. Fuck I hope Bella doesn't hear this.

"What the hell did you do to that poor girl? You idiotic lowlife! What kind of scumbag would leave her at the actually restaurant you fucking man whore" Rose yelled to me, before I could answer Bella was standing in the doorway, getting the completely wrong impression of last night, but I'm sure that Emmett has told her about our Fork's high adventures but still a screaming blonde in her living room really isn't going to go down well.

"So I suppose this is another one of your 'friends', Edward?" Rose looked at Bella who was open mouthed "Actually I'm Bella Swan, Emmett's sister." She quickly said before Rose mouthed of anymore.

"Sister, Oh I'm sorry" Insulted your boyfriends twin really wouldn't go down well.

"Oh no please continue, may I ask what they've done?" Bella looked highly amused at this scene.

"Being the whore's that they are! One night-ing a good friend of mine! Sorry you have to hear this Bella" Alice defiantly got the wrong impressions of whats her face's crying down the phone and if she was actually home last night she would have got the correct verison of the story. One night-ing her, no way. My dick had better standards.

"Oh please continue. Make them squirm." She said laughing moving to sit by the traitor of a sister. We all were staring at her, my eyes refusing to leave her even when Emmett started pleading is innoccence in my date. I was still fixed on Bella who was now talking with Alice. That little pixie will get it later. Rose was still yelling at all of us only Emmett's face felt her fury.

"Bella, you wanna get ready at my house?" Rose asked Bella

"Sure, I'll follow you guys out now" Bella replied and reached for her bag,

"Emmett, I like her, she's a keeper." I had to hide my laughter and Jasper did the same, Bella walked towards the door. "See you later boys" She called to us and the left.

Bella Swan, mmm. I could do with a challenge.

_**WHAT DO YOU THINK? PLEASE RE-VIEW MAKES CARLIE A HAPPY WRITTER! FANKOO XX**_


	2. Chapter 2: Why

**_THANKOO TO MY RE-VIEWERS!! and those who have put me on their alerts/faves :D_**

**_PLEASE REVIEW!!_**

**_ALL BELONGS TO SM!!_**

**_Chapter 2_**

**_Why_**

**_Bella's pov:_**

Alice had a charm to her very similar to her brothers of course much less sexual and Rosalie what a woman, tamed Emmett Swan and manages to kick his ass!New hero of mine. Got to say if I knew girls like these existed I would of made friends years ago. Rosalie's house was huge very grand, her parents run the HALE cosmetics company, highly successful. Her brother is the stunning Jasper and he the guy Alice has a crush on, who wouldn't like him right? Well he's not really my type compared to Edward Cullen who screams Bella's man all over him. From what Emmett has told me over the years is that he, Edward and Jasper like their share of women and have no problem flaunting this fact, so to even think any fluffy bunny thoughts toward Edward is a lost cause. I'm Bella Swan no ones fucking doormat. Alice the complete fashion guru that she is has transformed Rose, me and herself into 21 year old looking goddesses, perfect for a club night complete with fake ID and my classic smile, I'm ready to party.

"Bella, you look amazing!" Alice cooed at her me, her masterpiece. I don't claim to be gorgeous I think I'm rather plain but I know how to work my confidence and that's my charm. I never used to be like this, I actually was quite the geek. Reading and keeping myself to myself complete braininak. I wouldn't know Vogue if it bit me in the face that changed when my mother did. She met my step dad Phil at a school charity event he was coaching kids at baseball when he bumped into my mother. After a scandalous amount of cheap dates and public displays of affection, my once best friend of a mother had a complete epiphany and changed who she was to suit her new lover. I lost the only person I talked to and basically lost myself. I had a spout of teenage rebellion and Begin dressing in more 'slutty' clothe, the much expensive ones making a dent in my bank account and yet still my mother didn't notice me.

Changed my plain Bella look into a completely different person, started making friends, partying and bringing boys home. This inspiration came from Emmett of course, I was jealous of his stories and was tired of being the sensible one. This added to my teen angst and fueled my new attitude. My mother began to notice my new life when my grades feel below perfection, this would reflect her and make her look bad. Her reputation was all she cared about not the numbers disappearing from my savings account, not the late nights and hangovers or even the male sleepovers. I came to terms with my lost mother and hated the person she was now. The parties got heavier and the grades got worse. I'm far from stupid and I still love my books and music but bad habits die hard. I'm still a virgin and plan to stay this way until . I created this Bella image and I stick to it because the attention I get from the admirers and the jealous bitches is better than being book Bella who has no one.

Getting kicked out of the private school was my last ditch attempt to win back my mother. It was her two year anniversary to that idiot and she was planning a family Holiday which somehow didn't include me. We barley talked and hardly ever had a decent conversation and I was feeling a bit low. The night before I was out clubbing and a boy tried to force himself on me, unsuccessfully. This put my life in perspective and I wanted to change but I couldn't. I needed my mother and her friendship and reassurance, but I didn't get it. I went to school that day looking for revenge, maybe a bitch fit? Or burning something down. Anything will do just to give a big fuck you to my mother. Then it hit me, I had biology and the teacher was a known to like female students although nothing was provenI could use this. A few suggestive comments and lack of clothing on both parts a few memo's to the head teacher and result. Incorporate behaviour equals expulsion and Bella a one way trip to the town that doesn't see sun.

Moving to Forks was criminal to me. I always somehow wanted my mother to realise this what she created and love me how she used to when I came first. Emmett hardly ever saw my mother and cared non the less about her new ways. Charlie was always the same. He cared but from a distance and would step in when he feel its right, out of love not reputation and living with a caring parent isn't as bad as I made out at first, I'm just scared of loving the personia I've created and fall back into oblivion. I've never talked to anyone about my life and why I am the way I am. Emmett gets me, he still brags about my brains and my bright future. He still see's what I can be and refuses to believe the way I act is the true me. He's proud of me and has no problem telling anyone. The way I dress and the way I act will never stop Emmett seeing the real Bella. I wish I could find someone who I can show me to.

I look in the mirror in front of me for one last time and follow the girls to the car. I feel strangely at ease and my guard isn't fully up, I haven't felt like this in a long time. The smile I'm currently wearing is not seductive but happy.

We approach my house to be greeted by the three boys. Emmett gave me the big brother nod, Jasper was entranced by Alice and Edward was staring directly at me. The green eyes of his were burning into mine and I almost forgot to breathe. He was looking at me like all those other guys who I practically begged for attention. Make-up and a party dress equals males happy in the pants department. Edward was unbelievable stunning and I can see why girls fall at his feet but I didn't want him looking at me like that. I smiled back at him but made my intentions clear, I was not Edward Cullen's next victim. The fake smile and once returned to my face and that little bit of ease I felt earlier had all but left.

I came to Forks stating I need a challenge, maybe I am the challenge. Pretty fucked up. Ha.

Edwards phone started ringing and we all watched as he answered it.

"Lauren" He answered sharply. Jasper and Emmett started laughing and the girls shot murderous glares at him, I'm guessing that 'Lauren is a fuck buddy' I turned away feeling uncomfortable standing in this gathering.

"I don't know tell me" He chanted back sounding like he was struggling to sound convincingly interested. I turned back into his direction and his face was a picture. He looked as though he was in phyiscal pain and I had to struggle to hold back a giggle fit. He mouthed help in our direction and I felt myself stepping closer to him and reaching for his cell. What am I going to say? I put the phone to my ear to her still suggesting things.

"Hello Lauren, Edwards kind of busy at the moment. I was appreciate you not ringing this number anymore or you'll have me too deal with. . Bye bye" I don't know where that came from but I liked it! I surprised myself, I trotted back over to the girl who were giving me 'wayhays' and 'you go girl'. I didn't look back to Edward and continued walking to the car.

**_Edward's pov:_**

I was tarting myself up in the swans bathroom when my phone rang. Caller ID Jessica Stanley. Great.

"Hey" I answered dully.

"Hey baby, doing much tonight?" Does this girl have any self respect? She calls me endlessly and hopes that I'll fall in love with her!

"Yeah, I'm busy. See you in school. Bye Jess."I shut the phone before she could humiliate herself even more. I don't sleep with girls, I just fool around. Jessica is a good girl for when you want to feel wanted and want a bit of release. Most the girls, if not all at Forks high school act the same. Dropping their panties for any guy with few good looks and maybe a bit of popularity and they call that living. I do feel bad when I booty call but I can't change now, I've tried I've tried dating and it just doesn't work. I can't find any girl that I have something in common with and when I do like a girl a ittle more the ruin it by offering to suck on my dick. I like music and reading, having real conversations about the world not how many calories are in an apple. I chose to play instead of being played. I have had my heart broken, well that's what it felt like and now I chose to avoid another situation like that. I put no emotions into the girls I see and take none back from them.

Before I moved to Forks, I lived in Alaska with my family. Alice had here friends and I had mine, I had no reputation and I kept to myself enjoying the real things in life. I met a girl and she was just like those other girls but there was a kind of sass to her that I have never seen in any other girl. She was popular and when she showed interest in me I was caught in her spell and became an over night high school star. Alice resented me for this, she had worked hard to become the social genius that she was and I merely become a member of the 'IT' crowd through looks. When I was with Tanya I become someone completely different to the Edward my family knew and loved. I was cocky and proud of my arm candy. I though I loved Tanya very much but now when I think back I only loved what she had turned me into and allowed me to taste.

My own popluarity slowly outgrew Tanya's and she hated this. Public humliation was the only way the get back at me. Her revenge was sleeping with a friend of mine and posting it around the school. I was young and nieve and the feelings I though I felt for Tanya created a new monster in me and I was hooked on female attension and Jealous males. When we did move to Forks, I started where I left off quickly became friends with Emmett and Jasper and falling back into the good looking popular guy stereotype. I can't get hurt when I don't allow people in. Emmett and Jasper are friends that I never had before, I trust them. They're just like me and they the only ones who won't put up with my shit. Seeing Emmett with Rosalie gives me hope that I'm not a lost cause after all. Alice and I have never really got over our differences and are much more distant than we used to be. I used to talk to her now I don't, I miss my sister.

"Dude, move your ass. The girls are waiting and Rose will kick my ass!" Emmett bellowed to me, I laughed and followed him and Jasper out to the approaching girls.

Jasper had been in love with my sister since we moved her but refused to let his guard down and refuses to admit his feelings to her, he's really sensitive and get hurts easily even when he doesn't try. That boy cares to much. Alice was caught in Jasper's eyes and noticed only him, maybe I should just tie them together. Rosalie of course outstandingly gorgeous and one hell of a girl who trapped Emmett's heart. Then there's Bella Swan, been in my life for all of two hours and was having catastrophic effects. I was ogling her perfect body and flawless skin and thinking like a fucking teengage male. She smiled at me but kept her distance. What had this girl had over me? My thoughts were rudely interrupted by my cell ringing again. Lauren, another Forks high school social climber.

"Lauren" I answer aburtly. Needy, whiney and jealous. The guys hearing who it is try to hide their laughter and the girls throw daggers at me. Bella looks away and somehow my guilt floods me with this one move. Guilt for what? I don't know her and my actions have no effect on her. I'm slightly confused and annoyed at this girl causing this reaction.

"Hey Edward, guess what I'm doing?" She was trying to sound sexy but it sounded a lot more tacky.

"I don't know tell me" Still annoyed with my emotions, I play along with Lauren.

"In bed, wearing nothing but a smile, hoping my favourite boy will visit me" My dick shrinks at that though, begging me not to go there again. The look on my face was practically begging for help. Bella was holding back giggles with her hand, what a delicious sound. Everyone else was holding back fits of laughter too. I mouthed 'help' to anyone and Bella to my surprise and excitement grabbed the phone off me.

"Hello Lauren, Edwards kind of busy at the moment. I was appreacate you not ringing this number anymore or you'll have me too deal with. . Bye bye" She sounded so sexy and she fliped the phone back down and tossed it to me. I could only stand in awe when she walked off to everyone else. I followed this girl and I don't think my mouth ever returned back to it's right place.

Bye bye Fork's wannabes. Hello Bella Swan.

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	3. Chapter 3: The Same

**_THANKOO TO THOSE WHO REVIEWED AND THOSE WHO ADDED ME TO THEIR FAVE LISTS!_**

**_ALL OWNED BY SM!_**

**_bewarned CONTAINS ADULT THEMES! _**

**_Chapter 3_**

**_The same_**

**_Bella's pov:_**

Like I expected the club filled with girls showing flesh in order for a quick hook up and guys smelling of the latest male purfume trying not to look desperate. The kids with fake ID's nervously sipping the drinks and the people dragged there by their friends sitting down bored out of their skulls. I wonder where I fit in. Rose and Alice dragged me to the dance floor and I fell straight back into my old scene. Dancing with who ever and sometimes what ever. I needed someone to take my mind of Edward fucking Cullen. Alice had an army of male fans and Rose was attached to Emmett. Jasper was watching Alice but dancing with some random girl. Edward was surrounded by a swarm of female fans all wearing practically nothing and begging for a screw. The club was in fact not to bad and the guys kinda cute with a small town look about them. I was dancing with this tall, blonde guys, muscles rippling under a tight fitting top and I think his name was Dan or Sam, I can't remember. The night was flying by and I only noticed that I was time to leave when Emmett shouted over to me.

"Where you going beautiful?" The guys whispered in my ear pulling me closer. I needed some sort of escape.

"Emmett I'll catch a taxi home, see you in a bit" I shouted over the music to him. I saw all of them leave including a lonely Edward. I was still dancing with Mr. smooth talker when I started to make my way to the exit, I was closely followed by blondie and we hitched a cab together back to my place. I had yet to kiss him on the lips a few gropes and sweet nothings but I was trying not to make it personal yet. We got off at my house and I paused at the door, slightly nervous. I had done this many times but some how I felt different here. His lips touched mine and I was instantly lost in this kiss, this guy a complete stranger to me could be that but I will never now, I'm okay with Mr. Right now and that's all I'm willing to give. I threw my self into this fake passion grabbing him closer and his hand was grabbing me ass, pulling me into him. I open my door still locked to his body and face. I scanned the room to see Emmett, Jasper and Edward playing the Xbox now staring at us.

"I'm home" I stated the obvious. Dan was now walked behind me as I headed for the kitchen. "Anything to drink?" I offered swigging down a mouthful of vodka and grabbing this man closer, I was sitting on the kitchen counter, vodka in one hand clumps of his hair in the other. Our lips met and I wrapped my legs around his waist gripping him close. I was giggling like a school girl and I could feel his excitement.

"Bedroom" I whispered in his ear and he headed for the stairs with me wrapped around him sitting kissing me wildly. "See you in the morning guys!" I call to the stunned three in my living room.

We got into my room and clothes started to disappear, first his top, then my dress and it carried on until he was naked and I only in my underwear. I kissed his entire body before concentrating on his dick. This is the closest he would ever be to being inside me so he may as well get used to it, he was downing the vodka like water and moaning like a girl "BELLA" he practically was screaming gripping onto my sheets. I sucked and licked until he popped like warm champagne, yelling in pleasure. He flipped me on my back and returned the favour. I exited my mind and gave into the urges every teenage girl feels. After I came he climbed up to eyelevel and fell asleep arms wrapped around me. The boy was in lust, after a safe time I struggled out of his grip wrapped my dressing gown around me and headed for the kitchen.

I looked at the clock on the wall downstairs, 4am damn I will look like shit in the morning. The room was empty except for sleeping beauty on the couch, Edward looked so peaceful when his eyes are closed. I tip toed past him and poured myself a Glass of water, I looked in the mirror to see a fading purple mark on my neck.

"Bastard" I muttered to myself.

That's love for you" Edwards velvet voice sang behind me seeing the reason for my outburst.

"Yeah sure love is for suckers" I answered spilling my full bitterness into that sentence.

"Well it sounded like he was in love, earlier." Edward sounded jealous or was that my imagination.

"Lust is all boys like that know. Love is gold dust" I answered him. He looked at me in disbelief.

"Then why do you lower yourself to that?" He was asking me a question no one has ever asked, I knew the reason but no has ever cared enough to ask about my behavour.

"To feel something in this void." I suprsied myself by answering honestly,

"I know what you mean" he was just as shocked with his own honest answer.

"Fucked up right" I laughed.

"Your beautiful Bella, you don't need to fuck guys to feel" He doesn't know me yet he calls me beautiful? Not like the way Dan whispered in my ear earlier that night but in a way where he believed this to be true.

"Who said I fucked him?"

"Come on, the moaning and screaming? and no sex took place?" He was looking at me and I could feel my darkest secrets rising.

"I'm a virgin Edward. I play I don't fuck" I was staring straight into those sparkling green eyes and correcting him on myself, why? I have no clue. He came to sit by me on the kitchen counter.

"Then whats your deal Bell?" Why does he care? I just made a confession and he wants to know the in's and out's.

"Your popular Edward, you chose that, you chose to get up everyday and fuck girls around. You use your good looks and you get your way. I understand this as I do the same thing. Surrounded by people but lonely. I trust no one and I don't get hurt. After a while you loss every loving feeling you had and hooking up with the next best thing works. You feel lust for those moments and you crave something more, knowing that you'll never get it you go after that little bit of happiness and you hooked. Bad habits die hard. I don't sleep with guys because it keeps that little bit of hope alive in me and maybe I'll lose my virginity to love." He was looking at me and I knew he understood what I said. "Goodnight Edward" I walked past him to my room where last nights craving lay sleeping in my bed. I snuggled up on my couch and waited for morning sobbing into my pillow, ashamed.

**_Edwards pov:_**

The club was predictable, none of the girls took my fancy and I headed home with everyone else empty handed. Rose and Alice headed to my house and us guys decided to crash Emmett's. The Xbox was plugged in and our boisterous streak kicked in. Bella had stayed at the club with some random guy. I could see something behind those chocolate eyes of hers, she was lost. I never felt this was towards a basic stranger before and I wanted to help her some way, heal that pain that is so obvious to see when she slips into the playgirl role. The was a thump at the door and Bella stumbled in with a Blonde pumped up ego behind her. The headed toward the kitchen, I looked at Emmett who shrugged his shoulders "She's a big girl now" He muttered to Jasper and I. I could see out the kitchen where she was drinking Vodka from the bottle and wrapping herself around this boy. Kissing him but not showing an passion, I could see the restriction I give to girls in her and the way she was kissing this boy.

I watched at they walked towards the stair still engulfed in each other. Bella called over her shoulder at us, I felt angry at this boy for using her.

"Are you just going to let her fuck him?" I demanded to Emmett

"What you want me to do? Her choice!" He answered looking just as pissed as I felt.

I tried to get my mind in the game but the moans from upstairs were highly distracting. Every so often there would be "BELLA!" moaned as aloud as possible and Emmett grimaced each time. Jasper called it a night at half 3 and Emmett headed to bed, I decided to crash downstairs. I lay there listening to the silence. Bella I didn't;t know her but yet I saw the same pain I feel written on her perfect features. I wanted to step in but I couldn't. I'm so confused arguing with my own sanity. When I finally closed my eyes and hear light footsteps pass through the room and water running in the kitchen. I looked to see Bella wearing a silk dressing gown looking in the mirror. I got up to walk to her when she muttered "Bastard" at first I though I was to me until I realised she hadn't seen me.

"That's love for you" I said out loud gaining her attention.

"Yeah sure love is for suckers" She spat back.

"Well it sounded like he was in love, earlier." My jealousy snag through.

"Lust is all boys like that know. Love is gold dust I looked at her confused, willing to be with boys she hates? I guess I'm not one ot judge.

"Then why do you lower yourself to that?" She looked surprised at this question.

"To feel something in this void." She believed everyone word of that statement, I could see the conflict in her eyes.

"I know what you mean" I answered her honestly.

"Fucked up right" Her laugh filled the kitchen.

"Your beautiful Bella, you don't need to fuck guys to feel" Where did that come from? She was beautifully I wanted to heal her so badly

"Who said I fucked him?" This stumped me, does she think I didn't catch the noise?

"Come on, the moaning and screaming? and no sex took place" She must be some kind of goddess to receive those moans and groan when no actually bumping took place.

"I'm a virgin Edward. I play I don't fuck" Her eyes told me she weren't lying and little Eddie got happy, she was very good. I'm thinking male I needed to get out of this mindset, think serious.

"Then whats your deal Bella" Don't go into sexual details please.

"Your popular Edward, you chose that, you chose to get up everyday and fuck girls around. You use your good looks and you get your way. I understand this as I do the same thing. Surrounded by people but lonely. I trust no one and I don't get hurt. After a while you loss every loving feeling you had and hooking up with the next best thing works. You feel lust for those moments and you crave something more, knowing that you'll never get it you go after that little bit of happiness and you hooked. Bad habits die hard. I don't sleep with guys because it keeps that little bit of hope alive in me and maybe I'll lose my virginity to love" I was shocked at her outburst, every single word is the same as me. I couldn't answer only feel all my own self loathing and reasons for my attitude drown me. I wanted to cry and beg those I love and hurt forgiveness and give this beautiful girl the love she deserves!

"Goodnight Edward" She said as she retreated back upstairs.

Emmett and Jasper understood me to a point but this girl just hit the nail on its head. Love is for fools who trust, I don't trust and I don't think I can trust anymore. The girls I fool around with are to make me feel good. I hardly remember the person I used to be. I wanted to help people become a Doctor or someone that gives back to the community. I was raised by two of the most selfless people I know and my sister, my best friend. I lost these relationships a long time ago but Bella was awakening the real me. I felt the very real tears form in my eyes and I slunk back to the sofa.

I created this life to feel good and wanted by others, used them for my selfishness and hardly cared about them. Why do I feel so bad if I created this.

**_WHAT YOU THINK? THIS STORY IS MUCH DEEPER AND ADULTY THAN MY OTHERS SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!_**

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	4. Chapter 4: Roll the dice

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**_NOW LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!_**

**_Chapter 4_**

**_Roll the dice_**

**_Edwards pov:_**

I left the Swans resident just after Bella's friend sneaked out. Coward. I woke up after a terrible night tossing and turning and stewing in my freshly opened wound. The feelings I feel at the moment are crazy. I was annoyed at this girl, she doesn't know me yet she does. She is the female me. I hate her and love her at the same time. What would I do if I put some girl in here place made her feel like this and then ask her out? No way Bella Swan had it coming to her. She has just created the most exciting challenge ever. To crack her would be beyond brilliance. No girl could ever wriggle their way into my heart and I know now Bella feels the same way about guys. I will be the guy who breaks her. The playboy and self created persona in me was screaming out in pleasure. Let the games begin.

I got home and I was engulfed in my own arrogance. This girl was my drug and I was already hooked. The guilt I felt last night had all but disappeared and I needed to be the best to beat the best and Bella was most defiantly the cream da la creme. She has taken over my everything, I wasn't about to be upstaged by her own fucking issues, my own were enough. I hated this feeling of defeat and she had smacked me down on round one. When she made her little statement last night it opened a very real pain and regrets that I've never felt before and made me see the wrong in my life.

Even with all this bitterness and complete annoyance, I was head over heels in lust with Isabella Swan, even her name gave me goosebumps and my own mental confessions was making my heart do loops. I needed this girl to realise why she's fucked up and then I can find closure in my own pathetic existence.

"Good morning" Alice greeted me from the kitchen, with a glass of apple juice waiting for me and a death glare, what had I done now?

"Good morning Alice" I answered with caution.

"Fun night. See you didn't get you leg over. Frustrated?" Cocky bitch, now I see why I no longer get on with her.

"Nothing that caught my eye. How about you? fucked Jazz yet or are you still wishing?" This would piss her off but she started this verbal bashing.

"Fuck you." She stormed out of the kitchen. I know that she and Jasper like each other the sexual tension between them is out of this world and it seems that only them two can't see it.

I ran to my room on the third floor and went over to my piano. This was the only thing I kept from my previous existence that wasn't hidden away. Music was an escape much different to that a woman can give you. No whining and no need for pointless conversation, just pure pleasure. The notes sang out and my fingers worked their magic, I could feel the tension in my body slowly float away. Then my phone rang and my guard quickly snapped back into place. Lauren, who else Bella's little go away mouth off would mean nothing to this desperate little girl.

"Lauren" I answered sharply, this girl never got the hint.

"Edward baby, I forgive you for last night" Sure she needed a quicky.

"Lauren I'm busy" I let my fingers slip from the piano and the last note of my salvation rang out.

"Your playing that stupid hunk of wooden junk instead of playing with me." Her whinny voice was giving me a headache.

"Got to go." Not caring about hurt feelings or damaged booty calls.

I was as off now engaged in my new game and only one girl would do.

**_Bella's pov:_**

After my breakdown in front of fuck head Cullen and after the same one night good bye routine, I was back to my perky self. Emmett's big brother speech wasn't enough to touch my cold heart and I danced on with the day in my same old fashion. Unpacking memories of a girl long gone and memories of attempts to gain this girl back. I was annoyed and not in the best mood. Alice popped by to rant about her idiotic brother and Rose was occupied with Emmett. I enjoyed Alice's embarrassing incites of her brother. He plays piano, surprising and he has whole draw of flavoured condoms. Pig. The day slowly dragged on and I spent it with Alice, actually enjoying myself.

School tomorrow, great. Public school full of imbilciles and Edward Cullen's cronies, oh joy.

I woke up full of confidence and Bella zest. Alice was over my house with Rose early just as promised to get ready for the beginning of a very long jail sentence. Rose's BMW was such a perfect way to make an entrance. Emmett took his huge jeep and picked the boys up. We passed through the huge "WELCOME TO FORKS HIGH SCHOOL" sign and reached a run down building, nothing to what I'm used to and a car park full of cars that should have died decades ago. I got my first sigt of the student population and quickly identified the social crowds. Emmett's jeep pulled up next to us and Emmett, Jasper and Edward hoped out almost slow motion movie style and gracefully made their way to us. Emmett grabbed Rose and staked his claim over her, Jasper, Alice and myself watched as a flock of girls floated around Edward.

"Disgusting, do they have any self respect" I muttered to who ever was listening and lucky me some lemon faced blonde heard, took the offence intended and made her way to me.

"Excuse me, what did you say?" Acting all tough to the new girl, she really doesn't know me and now her little bitch fit had gained every ones attention.

"If you didn't hear what I said why is your ugly mug facing mine" This wasn't taken down well with lemon face and everyone stood there shocked.

"Bella, this Lauren" Edward called to me from where he was, an enormous grin fixed on his perfect face.

"Ohh the slut who called you yesterday." I asked Edward looking away from Lauren.

"That was you on the phone. Bitch what makes you think you can have Edward?" She felt humiliated enough so was now starting to get catty, I've seen this so often in over inflated girls ego.

"Please, I'm not like you or your posse. I don't drop my panties for good looks and I don't need to fuck any guy in this school to feel good about myself" Lemon face was beyond pissed and she raised her hand to slap me. Before her hand touched my face I grabbed it and a huge clump of hair and made her yelp. She's messing with the wrong girl.

"Don't think you can touch me. Go away and play with you boy toy. Talk to me again like that and I will improve your face." I let her go and walked towards the office to get my class list, I was surrounded by hooting and cheers. Alice, Rose, Emmett, Jasper and even Edward caught up with me praising me. Edward put his arm around me "I love you Swan" Please I didn't do that for him and I pushed his arm of me and turned to confront him.

"You honey don't do love. I won't fight your battles for you so don't delude yourself in to thinking that little show was for you. I'm not about to be come then next Lauren. Your a player and I'm not the game. Roll your dice somewhere else Cullen" He was open mouthed as I flew off Rose and Alice at my flanks.

Welcome to Forks high, my new kingdom.

I am the game master and if Edward wants to play he needs to learn you play with fire and you will get burned, let the game begin.

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	5. Chapter 5: It's biology

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**_ALL BELONGS TO SM!_**

**_THIS CHAPTER IS MOSTLY EDWARD! HOPE YOU ENJOY. ADULTY THEMES IN THIS CHAPTER!!_**

**_Chapter 5 _**

**_It's Biology_**

**_Edward's pov:_**

I stared after Bella and my mouth was hanging still. She got balls I'll give her that but I can see through that pretty sheild of hers and see the same ugly insecurities I try to hid. I needed to her to see this, that we are the same. She was stubborn and good at what she was but my ego needed to prove that it's better than her, fucked up I know.

"Edward" Jessica Stanley trying to be sexy running her hand across my back and purring my name. I could use this. Maybe jealously would melt the snow queens heart.

"Jessie, how are you today, looking fine." This made her giggle and now I had her wrapped around my finger. Jessica was putty in my hands I could mould her to my wicked ways I knew this, she was completely oblivious deluding herself into hoping that I will someday love her. Roll the dice Bella say, I did and I rolled sixes. I shall win, this round anyway.

With my arm candy, well arm candy for this place, I made my was to class. Jessica had no natural beauty and heavily relayed on cosmetic firms to enhance her face, but she was popular in this shack and that's all I same smooth moves and few words in the right ears and Bella's day is going to get a lot worse. She really will need a shoulder to cry on. Mike the fuckwit Newton was already daydreaming his and Bella's romance, I had to laugh at his dreams, poor boy should use his daddy's money to buy him a clue.

"That new girl is so fine. I'm going to realise my charm on her and man she'll be so good." I knew she was more than good, dumbshit from the club was screaming her name without a fuck. The male in me remembered and craved her all that more.

"Emmett would rip you apart for so much as even thinking that" Newtons face dropped slightly and looked like he wanted me dead, being very good friends with Emmett the human grizzly himself had his many advantages, a slip of the tongue about Mike's plans and hes one battered wannabe. Emmett is fericly protective of his sister only talking to the dude about her would show you that.

"From what I saw, she's the one who bites" Tyler shot in before any more words were exchanged. True that girl has a mean streak and it turns me on all the more.

The day phased by in the same old manner and lunch time arrived. I looked across the cafeteria and I could see my game board, the pawns in place and I the charming king ready to sweep.

Bella breezed in with Alice, Emmett and Rose and the whole student body turned to stare at this beautiful brunette. My heart skipped a beat just looking at her. I looked at the giggling heard of witches lead by Lauren shooting murderous glares at Bella, she waved ever so sweetly at them and antagonised them all the more. I let out a laugh resulting in strange looks but I didn't care, that's my girl. My girl where did that come from?

Emmett and Rose we locked in another row about his lack of common sense. Alice was bouncing about the upcoming dance and Bella was listening to my hyperactive sibling. I could see Newton pepping himself to talk to her and most of the other male population getting a good ogle. They sat on the table next to mine. It was the only time of day Emmett would remove his head from Rose's ass and sit with his mates. Jasper was occupied by some girl from one my Spanish class and Alice was looking insanely jealous, great more ammo for when that bitch starts. I was actively involved with the boisterous banter but kept one eye on my prize. Newton approached her and was shot down superbly and but this gave Newon hope, sad freak. The bell rang and I had biology, great.

I slunk off to my usual seat with Jessica draped over my table and her hands wondering places, it felt to good to refuse and I couldn't care less about the class filling up that was until Bella walked in the damn room so god damn gorgeous and distracted me. Looking at Bella whilst Jessica worked her magic gave me thrill's out of this world. I bite my tongue to avoid moaning out her name. Jessica left with a kiss on my cheek and I was trying to rearrange my jeans. The only spare seat in this class was next to me and well it was Bella's very lucky day. She saw her new lab partner and groaned, how sexy.

"Swan" I called to her as she sat down still buzzing from my latest encounter.

"Cullen" She replied sharply, someones still bitter. Man her lips were calling to me and when she bite down on them I almost came again.

"You'll do well in this class, I'm shit hot at biology." I purred to her, my voice dripping in sex and this brought a pink tint to her cheeks through frustration or lust, I couldn't care. I liked it.

"Fuck you. I'll be the one carrying you since you'd rather spent quality time sluts r us over there." She darted a vicious look in Jessica's direction obviously catching my moment of madness and Jessica's hand colliding.

"I was thinking of you baby" I was being honest and now the pink had changed to ruby on her face and I liked that a whole lot more.

"Get over yourself you dog" Oooh I love her mean streak.

"I love it when you talk dirty" I whispered in her ear pushing my face so close to her I could feel her warmth and smell that amazing strawberry smell. She turned into me and our lips were inches apart.

"Bite me" She threw at me in the most sexiest voice ever laced with all her venom. I would have to call Jessie back over for round two, damn her. Thank god for the table hiding my aroused state We turned from each other as the class started but now before I muttered "Only if you ask" and she had no time to respond to me. I was falling for this bitch and I liked it. I would unleash the true girl, same myself and enjoy this roller coaster at the same time. I'm going to hell with one huge smile on my face.

We were giving a joint biology task, good the gods love me. After I avoided Jess and made my escape with Emmett and Jazz, I felt strange. Did I want Bella to hate me? After all Hate is such a passionate emotion and anything passionate from that angel should be good right? I got home to find my mom Esme in the kitchen cooking her famous chocolate chip cookies. "I'm off to my room" I yelled to her as I made my way upstairs. I heard the front door slam shut, the pixie way home and I could here her rants from the thrid floor. I grabbed my cell and text Bella, I coaxed Emmett into giving me her number. He recons we're destined from each other, silly bear. made my message as sexy as words could sound of course my smug charm was in there as well. Like I said before Jessica's putty and is easily moulded, Bella is metal and after enough heat from me she will bend my way.

No reply. That stung but before I could bombard her with more Alice knocked on the door.

"Edward, I was thinking about going out for lunch tomorrow. You want to come? I'm really fancying some decent food for a change and well a group of people would be funnier. You in then? I hope you do!" She was rambling, Alice very rarely did this. Going out for lunch, she's up to something.

"Why?" I asked suspiciously

"Well we never do anything different and well me and the girls would go and then Emmett will so maybe you and Jasper could as well?" Jasper, she looked genuinely upset about something. Maybe Jasper's lunch date was playing on her mind.

"Alice, just ask Jazz out! The girl at lunch bored him and he kept his eyes mostly on you anyway. Don't worry about it, her likes you, I mean who wouldn't!" Jasper was the only living person to have this effect on Alice and I kind of felt bad from her she was seriously doubting her ability on Jazz. Her greens eyes suddenly lit up and she hugged me. I can't remember the last time she did this.

"Thank you Edward. You seem different, good different. Keep up like this and I might actually like you" She laughed as she danced her way out. Alice was my best friend until Tanya's lasting effects and I might act like a cock now but that's the only way I know. Bella is my cure and I was giving my ego a lasting death. Edward Cullen was going out with a bang.

I drove over the Swans place and rang the doorbell, Emmett answered and I see I disturbed his and Rose's fooling around.

"Don't mind me, I'm off to see Bella" I walked up the stairs and walked to her room. I knocked lightly but didn't get an answer so I walked in. To see the girl of dreams laying so small on her bed. I was engulfed in her scent, her hair was wildly thrown across her pillows and she was mumbling to herself. Bella sleep talks?

"_Mom, please love me."_She seemed so sad and I was dazed by her. I keep staring and walked over to her bed, she was still fast asleep. I lay next to her and just listened to her unconscious ramblings. _"Edward_" This got my full attention, she was dreaming of me? "_Edward, be yourself"_this hit me like a ton of bricks. Hearing her sleep talk about me, she was now unguarded and I could easily use this to my advantage, but I didn't want to. I wanted to play with her some more, no I needed to. I had to draw out my time with her.

**_Bella's pov:_**

Biology with Cullen. Could this get any better? What is he playing at? I caught the whole show of him and some girls hand. How damn right cocky. Do I like him? Fuck yes but I'm not some second rate lay in the janitors closest. I got so frustrated with this stranger in my kitchen I told him my whole fucking problem and reason for my attitude and now he thinks I'm going be wooed into his arms. The big headed pig. And that jerk-off wasn't the only testosterone filled moron trying to make theirs. Mike I love myself Newton had already asked me out 5 times today and Eric whats his face had been following me like a lovestruck puppy, maybe I should just announce I'm gay or something and then these idiots would back off, or maybe they'd enjoy the chase all the more. Hormonal teenagers of the opposite gender are certainly going to be the death of me.

They bell rang and an hour of torture was over not befor the stupid teacher gave us a joint assiment about the human antomy, great. I wonder how orginal he can be with his gags and jokes. Talking bodies with Edward wasn't going to Edward well, he was to tempting for his own good.

"Can't wait to get to grips with this" I said smugly with a crocked smile that turned on and for all of a second I wanted him right there.

"You disgust me Edward. Go fuck you waiting barbie" I snickered back seeing his hand job partner practically bouncing her way over. He acted like such a dick. I can see through that ruggedly handsome exterior and see the messed up little boy. I know his type, I am his god damn type and he thinks he can out smart me? Idiot.

"Made any friends?" Emmett asked as I got in our big empty house.

"With who? Your dog on heat best mate, fuckhead Cullen or is hoard of slappers willing to give him a quickly in my lap seat?"

"Someone sounds bitter or maybe jealous?" Damn Emmett knew me to well. I wasn't admitting any of my happy feelings toward that insanely handsome moron! Why was he having this effect on me? I would never give in to me and this is driving crazy. The way he runs his fingers through that amazing head of hair and that stupid smile that makes my heart almost stop, those eyes that can quite easily flush out my secrets in an early morning outburst and god hand that body, easily seen through his model style fashion sense. I hated Cullen.

"Fuck you Em." I wasn't annoyed at my very observant brother but annoyed at me! I lay on my bed when my phone beeped. A text for an unknown number "Hey beautiful, coming by later to work on your body. I really hope you meant you'll be carrying me. Women who take control really turn me on. Later Edward x" Fucking pig how did he get my number? I was again day dreaming about he who shall not be named when I drifted of to sleep.

"You talk in your sleep you know" A soft velvet voice drifted in my ears pulling me from my slumber. I looked to see a set of sparkling green eyes inches from my own.

"Leave me alone" I mumbled as I turned over resulting in me falling off my bed and landing hard on the wooden floor, now the green eye's were laughing at me from my bed.

"Are you okay? Come lets get on with this project" Edward helped me up and walked over to my desk. No witty insult or remark about my fall? Maybe hes had an epiphany, he seemed different somehow. I was dumbstruck staring after him like an idiot "Bella if you want to stare at my ask, just say and I'll give you a better look" Maybe not, he was just slow tonight. Lucky me Edward Cullen in my bedroom. More than most girls get, they only see broom cupboards or biology stools.

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	6. Chapter 6: Smashed

**IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: **

**When I started writing this story I had an idea of what I wanted to write and where I was going with the plotline but whilst writing it, I changed my mind and have now started to re-direct it.**

**Hope you like the where this will be going.**

**Still adult themes.**

**hope you like!**

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DO NOT OWN SMIRNOFF EITHER.

_**Chapter 6**_

_**Smashed**_

_**Bella's pov:**_

The night with Edward was surprisingly uneventful and apart from the moaning downstairs from Rose and my brother it was a very non sexual night. He left just before 11 and I went back to the land of nod. I woke up early and checked my mail, nothing from Renee. I tried not to get upset but a tear slipped out of my now water filled eyes. I was her only fucking daughter, she carried me from 9 months and loved me unconditionally before Phil how could you just forget that? Even Charlie had sent a quick "Missing you kids. Behave" E-mail from where ever he was. I looked in the mirror after dressing myself in whatever I found and was having a self pity day, I felt like shit. Time of the month, I guess. Emmett had already left and I was moping around, I didn't want school and it want to act today, I wanted to cry. Rose's beeping outside dragged me from this wish and forced my to school.

"Bella, you okay?" Alice asked concerned from the front seat.

"Women problems" I answered hoping to leave the 'I hate my fucking mother' conversation for another time.

"Guess what Edward said to me last night?" Alice was bouncing in her seat now.

"That he's riddled with STD's and he's dying slowly." I sourly replied, both girls burst out laughing.

"No but most problily true. He told me Jasper likes me!" Alice was gleaming, was she that blind she couldn't see it.

"Ask him out then" Rose laughed with me at the obvious attraction between the two and Alice's complete blindness.

We got into the school after the boys and headed toward homeroom. I sat listening to Jessica's made up accounts of her where abouts last night. To all the girls listening and the desperate boys wishing the got get some action from her. Jessica was bragging about being with Edward last night. Lying bitch I really would have let it pass but the whining voice was grating on me and the constant coos from the girls really started to piss me off.

"Edward wasn't with you last night so shut that annoying hole in your head." I said loud enough for all to hear but kept my gaze on my books in front of me.

"What would you know?" Silly girl now I shall humiliate her.

"I know that Edward was with me, in my bedroom. Shock horror I know. Edward I think with my penis Cullen was in an actual bedroom and guess what we were doing? biology." I turned to look at her stumped face and the eyes of most the class staring at me. I was telling the truth but she could take that anyway she wants. Our homeroom teacher was becoming vaguely aware of this scene and looked up from his very educational motorbike manual to ask whats going on. Fuck this.

"I need to see the nurse. Bad headache." I said as I headed from the door now really listening to him or even caring if I had his permission.

I went to my locker, which jammed on me resulting in my hand bruising from me punching it. I really am not having a good day and I really couldn't stomach English or any lesson for that matter. I grabbed the stuff I needed and headed to the library. I put my earphones in and cared for nothing else than the calming Clair Du lune. I opened sense and sensibility and read on. Faces passed and went so did the hours. Even though the words were being entered into my head I was still thinking about my mom. I didn't even notice I was crying until the pages in front of me were wet. I could feel all the same sadness rise in me. She had this effect on still, I hated her.

I grabbed my books and bag and stormed out of the library, charging down the halls I wasn't looking where I was going and I bumped into someone.

"Sorry" I muttered not seeing who it was until they grabbed my hand and spun me around to them. Great he who shall not be named, what would he care of my pain. The mascara stains evident down my cheeks and his face was unreadable. I don't know what happen but he pulled me into him, to hug me. I looked at his now pained face and those green eyes sent shivers down my spine. I could feel his breath on my face and I felt something for once. I wrapped my arms arm his neck and allowed on hand to grab a fist full of the reddish brown hair and pulled him to me. I pushed my lips to his urgently and threw all the pent up anger into this kiss, the feeling of hate toward my mom, myself and even him. Passion swept through me and onto his lips, which he eagerly accepted .I broke away from his stunned face and ran outside to go home. I needed to sort myself out.

I got home to find a real comfort and now the day started to haze into a blur of dizziness and numbness. My phone kept beeping who would be texting me? I looked at the names and it took all my concentration to read Emmett, Emmett, Alice, Emmett all missed calls, wow I'm loved. So where the fucks casonva? I didn't care, to hell with it im heavily influenced by vodka. I do care!

The house phone started buzzing. Maybe it was Charlie I really should answer.

"Hello" I slurred.

"Bella?" That voice.

"Renee, how are we this fine day!" Yes my mother calling me!

"Are you drunk?" Well the uneven speech and the mispronunciations would give that away.

"Hell yeah. I'm a middle of an orgy downing as many spirits as possible. Miss me mom?" I giggled at my own joke, I could almost feel the anger erupting.

"Isabella Marie Swan, how dare you act like this!" Fuck you, like you care.

"Act like what? My mother abandons me to fuck someone closers to my age and sends me packing to the middle of fucking know where!" Her fault all of this is her fault.

"Bella how could you say things like that. Your behaviour is despicable young lady. Where's Charlie?"

"He's out buying a crib, guess what grandma I'm pregnant!" This would really piss her off.

"Isabella don't you dare even joke about things off that matter" Gullible bitch. Where the hell is she I heard voices? She was outside or in Phil's convertible, enjoying herself?

"Go to hell. I hate you. Youve ruined my life!" I hang up the phone more acuratly threw it against the wall.

I caught site of myself in the mirror, the drunken mascara stained mess of girl. I had no self respect I was worse than the barbies at school. I picked up the vase of Lillie's to my right and launched them at my reflection. I laughed grabbing the bottle of vodka and sleeping pill and headed to my room. I left a trail of destruction behind me, I almost didn't hear the phone ring again, most likely Renee calling to insult me some more.

"What" I screamed into the receiver.

**_Edward's pov:_**

I watched as Bella ran from me. She just kissed me like I've never been kissed before. I was shocked beyond words. She was upset and I hugged her, I felt as though if my arms were around her fragile body it would some how hold her together. The Bella rang for lunch and I headed still stunned to my friends.

"You and Emmetts little sister eh?" One of guys asked, had he just seen the extange in the hall.

"What?" Emmett looked just as shocked as me.

"Bella put Jessica in her place in home. Jess was saying how she and her were together last night and Bella corrected her of your real whereabouts. She stormed out after that." Could Jessica 'bite me' Stanley have anything to do with Bella's depression? No she looked deeply hurt, I was worried and I felt this strange urge to protect her again, this is so weird that I feel this urgent need to protect her when I'm the only monster she needs protecting from. Emmett was furious not at me but at Stanley and giving her a glare, blowing me kisses. I hadn't noticed our new additions to our lunch table until Alice asked me a question, she was sitting with Rose at our lunch table? Whats going on Swan gives me mouth to mouth and Alice likes me? This is beyond strange.

"Wheres Bella?" Alice asked out loud, no one knew and assumed that she went home, ill. Biology was a nightmare I had Jessicas avances every 5 minutes and I Laurens desperate texts every 2 minutes. If I text Bella would she reply? My mind was all over the place and to top it off asked me a question and I fucked up the answer.

I couldn't wait till the day ended and walked home. Grabbing my keys and heading towards Bella's house. Why was I doing this I was playing her for my own selfish needs now I was trying to play doting boyfriend. I reached the door and was about to knock when realisation hit me. Why would she want to see me? I was walking back down the steps when I heard crashing and smashing in the house. I opened the door to find the huge mirror behind the sofa smashed with shattered pieces of glass everywhere, water and Lillie's strewn across the pale floor.

"Bella!" I Yelled out concern flooding my voice. screw the game something was wrong.

I ran upstairs to find each photo thrown or smashed. "BELLA?" I was starting to panic. The landing was full of glass and broken ornaments. I ran to her room where it was completely trashed, sleeping pills all over the place and a smashed vodka bottle lay on her bed, what had she done? I looked to her bathroom where the door was lightly open and water was running. I could hear whimpers. I opened the door to see Bella siting in the shower getting drenched by the falling water holding a phone. She looked at me with those amazing sad chocolate eyes stained by running make-up and I noticed blood pouring from her hands, undoubtedly from here wrecking spree.

"Bella" I was whispering now as I kneeled down to her level. "What's happend?" I asked quietly pulling the phone from her damaged hand and replacing it with my own.

"Renee, she left me. Forever" She said her voice breaking and tears dropped from her face and her whole body wrapped around me before she broke completely down.

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	7. Chapter 7: Soul mates, whatever

**_DISCLAIMER: STEPHENIE MEYER CREATED THE CHARACTERS/WORLD I ADDED MY MIND!_**

**_ENJOY:_**

**_Chapter 7_**

**_Soul mates, whatever story_**

**_Edward's pov:_**

I was standing in the waiting room with Emmett, Rosalie and Alice. The silence was killing me, it was only interrupted by a sigh or a sob from one of the girls. Emmett hadn't said a word he had just shut himself down and locked all of us out. Alice was curled at my side still sobbing, something I never thought I would experience, my sister in my arms again. Jasper was on his way to put them up, they needed to get away from this place. I was starting to go crazy when my dad Carlisle walked in. We all stared at him waiting for news.

_Flashback:_

_"Renee" She screamed into my chest, I was now wet from the shower and Bella's tears. _

_"What happened?" I asked my lips wresting on her damp hair._

_"She's gone. Car crash. Dead." Her mother was killed? Saying this out loud brought out a reaction in her tiny weak body. She started pounding her already badly cut and bleeding hands on her floor."It's all my fault, my fault" She was repeating. I had no words to say, I just held to closer to me and at the same time holding myself together, holding her hands stopping her from damaging herself further. Her sobs gradually become quieter and I was still rocking her in my arms. I picked her up off the wet bloody floor and placed her on the sofa in her room. She was dazed and broken hearted, to even contemplate losing my mother would devastate me._

_"Bella, I'm going to call Emmett" I said leaving my arms leave her cold body for the first time since I found her. I kissed her forehead and went to retrieve the phone from the bathroom. I picked up the phone and called Emmett explaining the situation and offering my sympathies, he would call charlie. I looked down at my white shirt stained with mascara, blood and tears even my hands were stained with Bella's blood. I felt my own grip on reality loosen and my eyes started to sting, I wiped away tears and walked back to the broken girl._

_I needed to hold myself together for her. "Emmetts on his" I murmmerd into her hair as I pulled her body close to mine._

_"Thank you Edward" She said barley audible._

_"What for? " I was offended by her thanking me. I needed no appreciation for my actions._

_"Being here" She answered her voice a tad louder and I pressed my lips to her head. Her sobs started again and my heart broke._

"Bella's had broken her left hand and suffered deep cuts on both hands. She has been stitched up and plastered. She's still very shaken but is asking to go home. Everybody sighed a breath of relief. Emmett stood when Carlisle spoke.

"She's been asking for Edward." Everyone looked at me, I was more shocked than anyone else. I nodded and followed my father to her. She was sitting on the bed all bandaged up and tear stained. She looked so small and venerable. As soon as she clocked eyes on me she jumped of the bed and into my chest. This felt natural and I loved how she trusted me to stop her falling apart. With Bella safely in my arms we made out way back to group each gave a comforting farewell to her and Emmett gave both me and Bella a joint hug. "Thank you" He whispered in my ear. Jasper had taken Alice home first. Emmett, Rose, Bella and Myself drove home in Rose's car. I was still attached to Bella, I don't think I could let her go.

Her house was in the same smashed condition as we left it. Bella had fallen asleep on the way home most likely from the mass amount of pain relief in her system. I held her bridal style and laid her down on the only piece of unaffected piece of furniture.

"Maybe she should stay at mine, you to Em. We can clean up tomorrow after you get some rest" Rose chirped in looking at the house.

"My house is closer. Plus Carlisle is there." That would be a better solution.

"Can she stay with you please Edward. I'll go with Rose" Emmett was finally started to break and emotion started showing on his features, I nodded and picked Bella back up.

Rose dropped us off and Alice was waiting on the front porch. I carried her to my room I didn't care what anyone else said that's where she was staying. Mom was with getting painkillers ready for when she wakes up and Alice was undressing her, while I waited on the landing, slumped against the wall with my head in my knees. Today had started so differently I was willing to use this girl and now I wasn't willingly to leave this girl.

Alice hugged me again before she went to her room. I was scared to go into my room. I looked at her sleeping and she looked peaceful and like she belonged there. Nothing in my room was outplace including the hurting angel on my bed. I grabbed fresh clothes and changed, I swiped some blankets from draws and curled up on the couch. Goodnight Bella. Be safe.

**_Bella's pov:_**

What could I remember? My drunken daze and breakdown. Telling my mother how much I hated her before throwing and smashing all breakables in sight. A phone call telling me that my mother had been killed in a car accident. Even bigger mental breakdown. Sleeping pills mixed with more alcohol and warm shower water. My blood dripping from my throbbing hands and a velvet voice calling my name.

Edward he scent calmed me and kept me together, he rocked my in his arms and kissed my forehead. I can remember Emmett holding me and carrying to a light room all the while my fingers intertwined with Edwards. I remember a calm voice similar to that of Edwards making the pain go away and I can remember calling Edwards name. I was fully awake but I was nowhere fully aware. I saw his face, his eyes and felt his stone hard chest. The sorrows and concerns of my friends and the hard face of my brother flooded my mind somewhere in this daze. After this is pretty much black. voices I know talking and soft sofas to soothing arms and to a big bed all this and my eyes refused to open and my voice refused to be aired. I drifted slowly into a deep slumber.

_"Do you believe in soul mates?" _

_"I don't know, I guess why?" _

_"I was wondering if there were a million different realities and universes do you think you'd still find that one?" _

_"I would like to believe so"_

_"I wouldn't want there to any alternate universe where I wasn't with you" _

_I couldn't see anything only hear voices one was most defiantly mine, the other too familiar than it should be. I was dreaming but Edward telling me he wanted me in all his universes made me happy. I hated he boy because of the way he made me feel, maybe this is fates way of pushing us together._

My eyes fluttered open and I moved to feel pain in my hands, I moaned at this and now a headache wasn't making this any better. I sat up in a huge unfamiliar bed surrounded by glass walls and mass amounts of music. The room was complemented with a grand piano. I loved this room and at the far end near the biggest breath taking window was a huge black sofa, with a sleeping boy on it. This was Edward's room. That was his piano that I'd once made fun of with Alice about his playing. I was caught in the room and the culture strew across the room and shocked at the hidden boy Edward kept locked up. I was only brought back into the room when the bed dipped a little and I turned my face to be greeted by a set of green orbs set in a worried face.

"Bella" This god whispered his hand removing a stray strand of hair falling in front of my eyes. I stared and with this room and this moment I could escape reality.

"Edward" I mouthed to him and his arms crashed around me. I struggled to breath in his tight grip but I refused to let him let me go.

"Your hands, how are you feeling?" His voice was dripped in concern and he leaned over to me to pass me pain killers and water. I smile and gratefully took them.

"Edward, bathroom?" I was slightly embarrassed but he pointed to the door by the piano. I slid of the bed and made my way out of this escape. I looked at my reflection that only hours ago resulted in the damage to my hands. My mother the women who I hated as much as I loved was gone, killed and the last thing I said to her was a spoilt teenage "I hate you" hissy fit. NO matter how much I dressed up and acted out and screaming how I no longer cared. I was a fake, a fraud one hell of a liar. My mother is dead, dead. That's final the end to this phase of mine. I was the way I was to one day gain back the only friend and in so many ways my soul mate. I hated myself more than I ever have before. My last hope of being loved again had gone. The reflection was now changing, my cheeks turning colours of pinky red and my eyes dripping tears.

"Bella" That voice again gave me comfort I did not understand or deserve.

I walked out the waiting angel his eyes laced with my own sadness, he pulled me to his bed where he rocked me again. "Shhh, love. I'm here"Love something that I craved. I felt a soft kiss on my head and I returned it with a kiss to his chest. This provoked at bad habit in me. I looked into Edwards eyes and slowly moved my hand the behind his neck and pulled his lips to my own. I felt his need as much as my own. I pulled away and placed my head back to his chest. I felt a sense of belonging here and I slipped back into my dreams.

**_PLEASE REVIEW I COULD DO WITH CHEERING UP! IF YOUR REVIEWING TO SAY HOW MUCH YOU HATE MY STORY, DON'T BOTHER(CHILDISH REVIEWS ON OTHER STORIES DON'T ASK). IF YOU REVIEW NICE THINGS I'LL BE HAPPY!_**

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	8. Chapter 8: Week after

**_ALL BELONGS TO SM!!_**

**_DEDICATED TO:_**

twilight-chick-92

hope this can help you :D

&

Courtney37

for the awsome reviews!! HOPE YOU ENJOY!!

this is mostly a filler before the JUCIY stuff coming up...!!

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**_Chapter 8_**

**_week after_**

**_Bella's pov:_**

What could I say about the week passed? My mother, the reason I exist the reason behind my attitude, gone. I loved her and now the hate is replaced with guilt, if I hadn't wound her up on the phone she would never of crashed. I will until the day I die carry this with me. Charlie and Sara had came home, Charlie was upset for his kids and Sara supported her family the way a textbook mother should. Alice is an angel, everything and more I could ask for in a friend, so is Jasper his soothing presence is something I will always treasure. Rose has been Emmett's rock, the big bear is broken he had cut himself off, although he and Renee have never had a close relationship, the love was there and he was grieving only Rose my new sister could help now, it's only her he wants helping him.

Then there's Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, a boy who I hated for making me hope and making feel a way that I never though was possible. Not once since the night he found me has he left my side. I stayed with him and his amazing family until Charlie returned and then I refused to let him go. Edward has shown me himself completely away from the teenage drama that's been ruling our lives, Edward Cullen the boy who wants to help people, who plays piano and who cares about people in a way I don't think I've witnessed anyone do before. He's everything and more that I don't diserve and at any moment I expect him to run.

It was the night I showed him my childhood school bag filled with objects that showed who I really was and why I hid from my true self, that I knew I loved him. He cried that night staining my pillows with his sorrow, my already broken heart splintered into sharp pieces inside my chest. I don't deserve him. I truly don't.

Esme had been a godsend, she talks to me and shows me motherly affection I crave more than anything else without any doubt in her mind that I deserve it. I've know her a little less than I've known Edward and Alice but I love this woman and her kind family. She welcomes me, a stranger into her life and gives me everything I need. Carlisle is just as wonderful as his wife, I truly that happiness from them, under better circumstances I would be in my own heaven.

Renee and Phil's funeral will be held tomorrow and we all will be going, including Esme and Carlise. I have the support of my new family to say goodbye to my old one. I find it hard to talk because when I do the guilt pours out and I'm to ashamed to admit this to anyone other than Edward. My voice is buried within me someone and at the moment I can't seem to want to use it. I killed them, my immaturity and each time I try to confess to Emmett I freeze up. I can't have him hating me, they all would. Charlie, Sara, Esme, Carlisle, Alice, Jasper, Rose, Emmet and Edward I would truly be alone and I have enough selfishness to hid the truth from them.

"Bella, it's time to move sweety" Sara's delicate arms wrapped around me and lead me to the car. I sat in dreamland next to Edward for most the journey.

We landed just after 8pm and headed straight to the hotel, Edward was staying with me. Charlie though it was best and Esme and Carlise almost looked proud at their son for his selflessness.

I looked at the dark room, Edward the God that he is was unpacking and sorting everything out, it was times like these that I see the Alice in him, I almost smile before Mr. Guilt pulled my lips back down into a pout.

"Bella, maybe you want to shower before bed. That was a long plane ride." His voice dripped in concern flowed over me and I headed to the bathroom.

I have to tell everyone the truth of that night, reasons why mom is dead and why everyone should hate me. I decided it was for the best. I text Emmett to meet me in Charlies room in 5 minutes and I will apologise for what I have done and face the consequences.

I barley remember leaving the room and the stunned Edward but I found Charlie, Sara, Rose and Emmett waiting for me. Before anyone could say anything I began my confession.

**_Edward's pov:_**

Bella was breaking each day pulling herself further into an unjustified state. She blames herself, how could this angel hurt anyone? I cry internally each time I see those brown eyes growing duller from pain. Alice and I have grown together this last week and I will be forever grateful to Bella for restoring my family to me. The funeral was tomorrow and I wasn't allowing anyone but myself to help her get through this. Emmett had complete faith in me,as does Charlie. My parents have claimed Bella as a new daughter and a savior of my soul. The look at me and for the first time in a long time I don't see disappointment.

I still expect to see her running at my inner monster. I'm nowhere good enough to be worthy of her trust and love. This week she's shown me the girl she really is and she even more beautiful than I could of imagined. She has a battered bag with her which is covered in badges from each holiday she's been on, in this bag is her most prized possessions, a copy of withering height and Romeo and Juliet. She has a picture of her mom and herself and a locket from her grandmother which had 'loved' inscripted onto it and a most recent plane ticket smudged with tear stains and containing a guys phone number on it . She said this bag contained all the reason's she was ashamed of herself. This bag was who is really was who she was hiding from. That night I cried so hard into the pillow beside her and promised myself right her that she'll never be alone again.

I would be sharing a room with Bella for the 3 days we would be here and in this time, I would show her that I'm good enough for her and convice her to love me in the way my heart undoubtily beats for her.

I was laying on my bed when Bella returned from the bathroom. I lifted my head to see her looking at me oddly with a look that scared me slightly.

"Is everything okay?" I jumped up from my bed to go to her, she was cold and still wet from the shower,

"Thank you" Her trembling lips muttered

"For what?"

"Being here, with me. I don't deserve this and I've decided to tell people the truth." Her eyes started to glaze over with unshed tears.

"The truth?" I don't understand her.

"I'm a murderer. I killed them, my fault." I was about to hold her closer to me when she walked to the door. I stared stunned after her "Please don't follow me. I have to do this."

It was what seemed like hours and I was pacing the room. I should of gone with her and convinced her it was the grief talking. Told her I loved her, help her. I'm the one that failed her. Damn it I'm going after her! I was about to storm out the room when a pair of chocolate eyes met my own, the eye's weren't that of broken Bella who left our room but they belonged to a hurting but healing Goddess. There was a smile fixed upon that beautiful face of hers and me before I could form words, her lips crushed mine with a force that made my heart beat faster.

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	9. Chapter 9: Cured

**_This chapter is dedicated to:_**

**_Alicecullenobessed_**

**_thank you for your review!! _**

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**_WARNING LEMON IN THIS CHAPTER!!_**

**_ALL BELONGS TO SM

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**_Chapter 9_**

**_Cured_**

**_Bella's pov:_**

I was shaking violently as I faced my family awaiting judgement.

"I have something to say, so please don't speak until I'm finished talking." My voice was shaking to. My brother Emmett his eye's were filling up and Charlie looked horrified at me.

"I love all of you very much an dnow that I wouldn't do anything to hurt you delibratly. I know I'm not the ideal child Dad but I have reasons for the way I am and it's about time I tell you the truth" I took a deep breath and blinked to allow all built up water escape from my eyes.

"When Renee met Phil she became a different person and I lost my only friend in the world. I lost a part of me and I needed this back more than anything else, so I changed myself hoping that this will help me rediscover the missing piece. I quickly learnt that Renee was that missing piece. " I could see Emmett start to lose his cool and Rose wrapped her arms around him.

" I started acting up and drinking, partying and messing with boys. This wasn't me but its hard to stop acting when the lie makes you feel better than reality." Charlie was crying now and Sara wa slooking at me with her face full of pity.

"Don't feel sorry for me, I don't deserve it. I came here to apologise for my actions in the past and to beg for your forgiveness" I could hardly speak with the emotions taking over my voice.

"Bella. You haven't done anything wrong honey. It a hard time to get through but you have all of us. New and Old friends. we love you" Charlie spoke and all faces nodded in agreement with his statement.

"No I have done something wrong. The day Renee died, the minutes before actually I wa son the phone with her. Drunk and arguing with her about something. when I told her a pack of lies to piss her off and she was fuming. I know she crashed because of me and for this I beg you to forgive me and I'm so sorry" That was it my legs give way and I was a sobbing mess on the floor. Two arms wrapped around me, I looked up to see Emmett holding me close to him. I had just killed his mother how could he still love me?

"Bella, yes Renee and Phil died in a car accident but it wasn't your fault" Sara's soothing voice reached me.

"It was They crashed because of me! I killed them see you should hate me!" I screamed at them, they werent listening like Edward they were trying to help me, I don't deserve this.

"No Bella the idiot who was driving his truck whilst drunk killed your mom, not you" Charlies was holding me with Emmett and looking directly in my eyes and I couldn't not believe what he had just said.

"What" I whispered in disbelief

"They died because of a drunk driver. Honey don't ever think that it was your fault. Yes Renee made mistakes with you and I will always hate that part of her. She ruined you and made you lonely through her selfishness. The real reason why your hear is not out of punishment but because I demanded full custody of you from her. I love you too much see you hurt yourself this way." I was griping on the my brother and father and feeling loved unconditionally for the first time in a while.

"I love you so much. Both of you so much" I cried into their arms.

"Bells I'll always love you too." Emmett I could tell was smiling.

"What made you break out of your shell?" Charlie asked. Rose's arms had now replace those of Emmetts and she pulled me to sit down next to her.

"Edward" I though with a wide smile

"Edward?" Emmett asked confused.

"Edward showed me that I'm not the only one who does things they don't want to. He showed me hope and made me feel something real again. His confidence in me gave me strength to find who I really am." I was proud of that boy, my boy and I know it showed on my face.

I was conintuasly in the arms of my family as we talked about everything and I feel alive again. I could still feel the rip in my heart where my mothers love used to be but that was being filled with the love of the people around me. I left the room being able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I got to the room to see Edward pacing and staring out the window. This boy had showed me how broken I was and how broken he still is. I wanted him actually I needed him and in every sence of the word. I without a doubt was in love and in love with a liar like me, in love with a fake and I was most definitely in love with Edward fucking Cullen. He eyes focused on me and I lunched my new found self respect at him and gave him the real Bella.

My lips collided with his and shaped their way with his. My hands grabbed him closer and his arms pulled me to him.

"Bella" His breather over my lips that were begging for more of his.

"I" I couldn't help myself but start to kiss him again "Love" his tried to say again but I refused to part from him "You" He spoke again and pulled me even closer. I love you? Did I just hear that? Yes I did.

"I love you too" I whispered in his ear and kissed his earlobe causing him to growl in pleasure. His lips were now at my neck and kissing softly but with passion, I've never felt before.

**_WARNING LEMON: IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ CONTINUE ONTO NEXT CHAPTER..........._**

**_Edwards pov:_**

She Just said to love me? She loved me? Bella Swan loved me? I didn't care about sanity at this point and just continued kissed Bella, my Bella. Her hair brushed across my face and I need her more. Her tongue swept across my ear lobe and down my jaw. I had been with many girls but not one had made me feel this way before. An urge inside me pulled Bella down to the bed with me. I could feel my arousement grow and as I continued to kiss Bella's perfect face, her little moans turned me on.

I didn't want to think about anything else I wanted to give into my feelings and just throw reason away and let my instincts take over. I belonged to Bella, I was hers as much as she was mine. In any existence in any world she was my soul mate, she was my complete. Damn Reason.

"Bella, Should we be doing this? I mean I want to but.." Her eyes looked at me and I swear I could see a tad of rejection there. Couldn't see or even feel how much I wanted this?

"Edward, I'm ready. I'm feeling like me again and I want you to feel the real Bella" I didn't need to think twice. I filliped her around and supported my weight on my elbows. My entire body covered heres and her warmth was intoxicating me. Her little fingers started to unbutton my shirt and I could feel her hands travel around my body. I moaned from this effect. My shirt was on the floor, soon to be followed by her own.

Her body was perfection and my mouth urged to feel her smooth skin. I continued kissing every inch of her perfect body and at the same time allowed my hands found their way to her zip and slowly pulled her trousers off. A moan of impatienance left her mouth and returned to her lips. Her delicate fingers tugged at my trousers and pulled them off so gently leaving my gray boxers exposes and my very clear liking off what was happening. My bulge pushed against her and I couldn't contain myself self any longer. "Bella" I moaned onto her breast where my tongue was swirling around and enjoying itself.

I could feel what my hand needed. My fingers crept down to her panties and felt over the silk fabric, slowly rubbing circles around her core and Bella's breathing started to race and her hands started to grip me closer, I could feel how much she wanted this. "Edward"She whispered. My lips still kissing just under her breasts and ribs slowly worshiping her body. My fingers slowly reached around the fabric and I could feel how wet she was. "Edward, I need you" She was starting to sound frustrated when I allowed one digit to slide into her.

"Edward, that's it" She screamed gripping onto the sheets around us. My mouth return to her set of lips and I could taste her moans as I picked up my speed, now a second finger joined the party and I started to messages her insides and she liked this. My thumb rubbing circles around her clit. Now her hands were griping my boxers and slowly lowering them down. I was so so distracted by her Delicious moans that I jumped slightly at her touch. "Bella" I gasped as her increase her speed on my shaft and I returned the favour.

locked to each other by our lips who were refusing to part and gripped to each others core, I was beyond happy. I could feel the girl I love and know that this girl loves me, this felt right and natural.

"Edward, I need to feel you. All of you" She purred in my ear. Up until this point I was pro but now this marked new territory. I've never actually done this before, this was going to hurt her and I felt slightly put off by this. I was about to lose my own virginity to Bella. Emmett's going to kill me.

"Bella, love it's going to hurt at first" My concern for this angel out weight my lustfull needs. I couldn't cause no pain to her.

"I know, I don't care. As long as I got you here -she pointed to her heart- that's all I need to know." Her naked body wrapped around me and I positioned my self at her entrance. "Im sorry" I breathed into her ear as I pushed into her. She was so incredibly tight and perfect for me I could feel her virginity pushing down on my dick, I ever so slightly pushed that bit further, she let out a slight cry and my eyes darted to her face. We both had now given each other to each other fully. How bad had it hurt her? "I'm so sorry Bells, you want me stop stop" I was now fully inside her body and our bodies were the closest they've ever been.

"No, Edward this is right. We belong together" Her words rang the truth. I could feel her hips rhythm and I sang along with them. My whole body felt alive each thrust and I could feel her tightness adjust to me. She was screaming my name out and gripping onto me so hard her fingers were undoubtedly leaving marks. My lips still sucking her neck and taking in her godly scent.

"Edward, harder." She gripped the head board behind her as I gave into her request. I could feel my body and my being rise, everything that Ive ever felt being pushed to the surface and all my love for this girl was about to show it's self. "Bella, I'm so close" I groaned as she picked up pace, wrapping me tighter to her body with her legs and pulling my mouth back to hers. Her fingers tangled in my hair. "So am I, Oh Edward" She screamed now as we rocked on, she was going to kill me.

Then I felt it her walls milk my essance and release everything I used to be. At that moment Bella had cured me, I was Edward Cullen again I could I felt myself again and more importantly I could feel my girl at the same time. "Bella, I fucking love you" I screamed as I came.

"Edward. Fuck." She yelled back as I felt her release. Her walls tightened around me and her body twitched in pure delight.

Still intertwined in eachother we laid back and we were one. I was in heaven.

**_THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO HAVE REVEIWED!!_**

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	10. Chapter 10: Happy ever after, right?

**ALL BELONGS TO SM!!**

**THANK U TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE REVIEWED! &ADDING TO FAVE LIST!**

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**Epilogue:**

**Happy ever after, right?**

It's been 3 months since my mom died. I can call her than now my mom. I hated her true and through my hate I created someone that I though helped, but it really didn't. I can never hate my mother because even though misery and self doubt ruled my life for a while the person I created gave me the most amazing people.

Charlie who is everything and more. I get grounded for being late or if my grades don't reflect my true potential or if Edward get caught sneaking out of my room, and I love it. Sara his wife and my mother in so many ways is there for all my girly need and bitchy chats. She's actually 3 months pregnant with my new sister, but she hasn't told Charlie yet. I'm so excited she told me that when one life ends another begins and this new baby represents everything I've been through. There is always life, maybe at time it sucks and really fucks you off but there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Emmett. My big bear of a brother. Such a dope and crazy. Now his is in over protecting mode and if any male so much as breaths in my direction he and Edward gives them the good cop, bad cop treatment. Let's just say an over friends waiter in Port Angeles is now unable to reproduce. Rose, Emmett's better looking other half has filled the big sister role perfectly. Any tiff I have she trys to kick the person's responsible ass. Very scary women but I can see why Emmett loves her, she makes my family complete.

Then we have Alice, the crazy short ass who likes to rule my life. All clothes must be Alice approved and all shoes must have a heel over 2 inch's. Hitler would seem like a cute little bunny compared to a ticked off Alice. We all fear her time off the month. Jasper the darling asked Alice out finally and they have been together for almost 2 weeks. Jasper is the guy to go to for an emotional boost, he seriously should help the crazy for a living he'd make so much money!

Last but certainly not least. Edward Cullen. The boy who made my skin crawl and the drama queen inside my throw a tantrum. The boy that I'm hopelessly in love with. We've been together for 3 months and I don't think I could live without him. Charlie likes Edward and is very supportive of our very serious relationship it's only when we get caught at it that Charlie See's red. Edward completely changed his whole persona when we got back from the funeral. He plays his piano publicly and is going to studying music as well as learning to become a doctor in college. He ignores all other girls and don't get drawn into the high school popularity bullshit. He showed me how to feel again a d he gave me the strength to face my demons. He cured me and gave me his whole heart. I will always love him no matter what.

I leant something through my insanity, life is one big game and no matter how you play there will alway be snakes. You create the ladders and become the better player. Just don't played, creat your own game and the end results could just end up suprising you.

Edward fucking Cullen. My soul mate.

Forever, right?

**4 years later:**

_**Edward's pov:**_

"Jazz I don't think I've seen you this nervous before." I said as I placed the rose into his pocket. I was shaking but I was med school I needed to stay calm if a simple wedding does this to me, screw becoming a doctor.

"I'm not nervous, just completely shitting myself. I'm sweating from everywhere. What if she don't turn up? What if she leaves? What if she says I don't?" Jasper was rambling on. Today he was marrying my little sister and he was a profession physiologist, he should now what nervous is.

"Jazz I know Alice and believe me she'll be there. 110% she'll be there. God if she saw you now she'd bitch slap you so hard!" I did now know my sister. Alice and I have been the best of friends since those last months of high school. I tell her everything and she trusts me completely. I love my sister very much and would kill willingly for her. Any bastard so much as looks at her funny and I'll rip of his head but Jasper is perfect for her and I wouldn't chose a better husband or brother for this family.

"Jasper, you treat my little girl like the princess she is or else!" My dad Carlisle's voice called from the doorway.

"It's his balls you need to worry about, not Alice that girl is crazy! She almost decapitated me for making a joke about the minister's completely obvious wig!" Emmett the goofball he always is had to make a joke at the worst time. Go Alice is all I could think.

"She's here, thank god she's her" Jasper chanted to himself. I laughed.

"I can believe your getting married bro. I'm going to cry your all grown up! Give the bear a hug!" Emmett grabbed Jasper and ruffled with his hair. Emmett now the sports journalist still a child on the inside.

"Alice will kill you if you mess his hair up!" Esme called standing by Carlisle's side. That's another thing that I have now. A healthy loving relationship with my parents. I smiled at them as they stared at the 3 of us messing around just like high school.

"God I think I'm going to cry again. I'm so proud of you all. " Esme was watering up again.

"Don't be silly Esme. We'll see Alice all the time, she promised me!" Ellie stormed in wearing the most adorable little flower girl dress.

"Oh I know Ellie. Where's your mom?" Esme said picking up the cute 3 year old.

"She sent me to get my brother. Emmy, Alice said get your butt back there or else!" Ellie yelled at Emmett who loved being the big brother again. Ellie looked so much like Sara and Charlie, utterly beautiful.

Emmett left, Ellie, Carlisle and Esme in tow. I looked back at my soon to be brother and give him one last good luck hug before I headed out to find Alice.

"See you soon Jazzy boy" I laughed as I left. Jasper's father replaced me and I left them to their father son time.

I walked to the other end of the church, passing Sara and Charlie and minister who had what looked like a hamster attached to his showing Bald patch. The church was full of people and of course the designs were perfect, just as Alice had planned. I opened the doors to see Alice wearing an amazing dress. She turned to me and smiled. Of course Alice's wedding would be perfection, she was an events coordinate anything less than brilliant wasn't good enough.

"Are you ready little sister?" I asked hugging her and kissing her cheek, she was crying.

"I always though you'd be married first" She said through sobs. I though I would be married to by now.

"Well yeah, that's life. Enjoy your day Alice. I love you!" I said, hugging her once more before Rose dressing in a red bridesmaid dress and holding roses started fluffing around with Alice. Carlisle was trying to calm Emmett down who had rubbed his craziness of onto Ellie who was now jumping up and down. I laughed at the classic rom com scene in front of me, the I heard a voice behind me talking to someone but no one else was there except the girl who I did ask to marry me and she said no.

"Bella who are you talking to?" I asked completely perplexed

"The baby. She likes it when I tell what's happening!" She said quiet proudly showing of her bump.

"Bella, you sound crazy you know that right?" Bella was a kinder garden teacher, newly qualified so being I hope she doesn't do this in pubic. Silly Bella.

"Oh baby, look at daddy being the grump. I don't sound crazy talking to do, do I?" She said again to our baby. I laughed and pulled her closer to me. Her bridesmaid's dress perfectly showed of her amazingly pregnant figure.

"I love you, Bella" She coughed and I knew what she ment "I love you too Renesmee" I kissed her belly.

"We love you too" She kissed me with the same passion as the first time.

Of course Bella and I are together. She won't marry me though but she is 8 months pregant with our daughter, where's the sense in that. I kissed her forehead as the music started.

Ellie walked down the aisle first, Emmett and Rose after her followed by Bella and me. Alice and Carlisle drifted perfectly down behind us.

I watched as my sister got married. I watched as my amazing girlfriend pregnant with my little girl stood smiling at me. I watched as my family smiled. I was happy, more than that I was healed.

The challenge was to get Bella, I did that and she saved me.

**_WHAT YOU THINK??_**

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	11. Chapter 11

To all my loyal reviewers/supporters/friend etc... I have not updated in 7 months months as you all know... my reasons being I haven't wanted to... my life has been crazy and just havent had time!! but now that my little girl is older i can write again. Shes doing well, thank you all for your wishes and thoughts!

now for my new start ive got a new account! ive decided to edit, re-vamp all my stories and re-publish them on my new page, i dont expect you to re-read them and re-review!! lol just to let you know!

I WILL BE FINISHING OFF MY INCOMPLETE STORIES ON MY NEW ACCOUNT!!!! there will be weekly updates!!

my new account is : http://www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net/u/2232898/rhylee

THANK YOU! see you over there.... ;) xx


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